Greenbrier Resort to Open BAFC (Big-Ass Fancy Casino)

So much for everybody passing up gambling road trips for online casino games in these tough times. In a move that gives a big middle finger to the current recession, the superclassy Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia has announced an expansion plans to build a new casino and retail and dining areas. Scheduled to open in 2010, “it will be a truly spectacular facility, very elegant and unlike anything anyone has seen before,” said Jim Justice, chairman and owner of the Greenbrier. “We are so excited about breaking ground for the new casino.”

And why wouldn’t he be? Check this out: the casino will be built in the resort’s front yard and will include a swimming pool, walking paths, a reflecting pool, park benches to sit down and count your winnings, and a leisure area to relax in.

Did someone say reflecting pool? Hel-looooo? This is a CASINO! I don’t need everybody seeing my full house just because some drunk teenagers want to re-enact the Forrest Gump in DC scene. Here’s an idea: how about a black, concrete pool? See, this is why I stick to my online casino. Fewer reflecting pools.

Anyway, where were we? The casino itself will have just about every game imaginable: craps, poker, blackjack, roulette, slots, the works. And just to give a big thank you to its players (and a visit of Lady Luck), gamblers will enjoy a complimentary bottle of wine at 8 PM every evening. And the construction will facilitate improved guest arrivals and departures. Which is good when you want a big winner to get the hell out and never come back.

The beautiful Greenbrier has won numerous awards in the hotel business and has been welcoming guests since 1778.  Unless George Washington liked to play a little online blackjack in the Oval Office, who knows, maybe he frequented this place.  (Yeah, I know he pre-dated the White House.  This is an online gambling blog, not The History Channel.)

So there you go. If you’ve got money to spend and friends in West Virginia to impress, stop by the Greenbrier in 2010. If not, well, I’ll see you at the online casino.